When Did This Happen?

Ok, I remember the first time I was referred to as, "Nina's Mom." I realized I'd hit a new phase in life, the one where you lose your former identity and become Someone's Mom. But now Nina is 16 and I'm floudering a little, wondering when my precocious little girl became this young woman.

She raked it in for her birthday. She got a new phone from us, goodies from the aunts and uncles and cousins, and cash and a CAR from my parents. A CAR. It's the cute little red one that's been passed down from brother-in-law to sister to my dad who cleaned it up and now to my girl.

The funny thing is she doesn't even have her permit yet. She was a little nervous and not it that big of a hurry to get the license thing going. Last night after we got home from the birthday party, she got out the driving book and asked me what I thought she should highlight. I told her that I'm really good at Dickens and Austen but that her dad is the Driving Book Man. Much as I hate to admit it, my poor silver Montero is dinged up like you can't believe. My husband is a much better driver.

And the dating thing! A boy can now, in theory, come to our house and pick Nina up and take her somewhere just the two of them. Mark says this will occur only after said boy comes into the home and visits; they'll have a chat while my husband sits with his shotgun across his lap a la Beverly Hillbillies. Or that crazy flick that Dueling Banjos comes from. Starts with a D. You know the one, it escapes me at the moment. Desperation? Desperado? Delinquent? DELIVERANCE. That's it. Little stream-of-consciousness never hurts.

Well, my Nina, be a good girl. Stop at all the stop signs. If the light turns yellow, best to hit the brakes. Do as I say, not as I do. When the boy says, "If you really loved me you would," just do that little maneuver I taught you years ago. If he really loves you, he won't expect you to.

Nina was popping VHSs in the video player at 2 years of age. She cut her little sister's hair at 4. Her first sleepover was at Cody's house. (They were young and innocent.) She has cut, glued, pasted, created, texted, curled, primped, laughed and entertained her way to 16 and it is an absolute joy and pleasure to be her mother. But I really don't feel any older than I did when she was born.

She's also the most beautiful swimmer ever.

It's a Boy!

My sister, Julie, and her husband, Dustin, are in Taiwan as I write this, picking up their little boy. They're adopting a sweet 11-month-old, Alex Kuan Yu Loveridge. Jules sent some pictures today and I just keep misting up every time I look at them.

This is Julie's first baby. Dustin has two girls who are thrilled to be having another baby brother. My heart is so full that I hardly know what to say. When I saw the pictures of the proud parents with their new, bewildered little one I just felt this overwhelming sense of love. That lucky child is going to be the beneficiary of a large, loving family who will smother him with love and kisses and lots of really cool birthday and Christmas presents.

He has lived this much of his life in a wonderfully loving, caring orphanage and will now be with two parents who love him so much and have waited for him for so long.

Welcome to the family, sweet boy.

Chin up!

As a writer, I've collected books on writing- the craft, all that nasty stuff like semantics, and the more helpful stuff that makes me feel good about what I'm doing, even when I wonder if the next book will be accepted for publication, if people actually read these things once they're in the stores, that kind of stuff.

I'll list some of the best titles I've found. They not only touch on the craft itself, but on the inspirational part that makes you remember why you wanted to write in the first place.

1. Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott. This is my writing bible. Followed closely by:

2. On Writing, by Stephen King. Truly the master of the compelling story.

3. Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul. Yes, one of those dorky books. Such good snippets of writers' successes, some in the face of frustrating odds.

4. Rotten Reviews and Rejections, by Bill Henderson and Andre Bernard. You will die at who's been rejected before being published.

So, all things told, keep that chin up. Persistence pays off, and some of the best advice I've seen, and I've seen it numerous times, is to keep writing once you send off that book/article/whatever. Send it out into the world and then get back to work on your next project.

I heard Ray Bradbury speak at a Weber State Convocation some years ago and his suggestion was to always stay in love with whatever it is that makes you want to live forever. I remind myself of this when I start to worry about the publishing end of the business. First and foremost, the writing must happen or nothing else does.

In Defense of Cinderella

Okay, so this has absolutely nothing to do with anything of substance, but I've been thinking, lately, about Cinderella. The old one of Disney fame, not the newer versions.

When I was a girl, I loved this movie. As I got older, I still loved this movie, but felt like I shouldn't because Cinderella really was just a dork who was waiting to be rescued by a man.

Now that I've given it more thought, I've decided that the Cinderella of Walt Disney's creation was quite ahead of her time. Ok, so she didn't have the wherewithal to leave her nasty stepmother on her own to find gainful employment as a governess or ladies' maid somewhere, but she did the brave thing by going to the ball at all, even after she'd been totally roughed up by the stepsisters.

When my daughter was young, I let her watch Snow White, but every time that scene came on where she sings (in that horrible shotgun vibrato!) "I'm dreaming for the one I love, to find me...today..." I'd snap under my breath that she ought to be dreaming of a scholarship instead. But really, much as I hate to admit it because I think Snow White is ugly, she did the brave thing too, by running into the woods, away from the knife-wielding henchman and facing all the scary forest creatures. (Who really turned out to be cute and cuddly and most helpful). And then she set up shop in a house full of men and totally took charge.

So, as much as I took the feminist high road about a decade ago, I've come around to the belief that, although not optimal choices given today's world, those princesses did pretty well for themselves.

Plus, I really still want a Cinderella dress-up dress. (And a tiara).

Good reviews..bad reviews...ugh.

Can I really just shamelessly promote? I guess I can. It's my blog. I have to post a pic of my 1st Civil War book. The whole series is in the process of shifting to paperback, which is so much more affordable, of course. And it's been nice for me to see good reviews of this series as the years have gone on.

There are always a few bad reviews, and I do have to say it feels a bit like a slap in the face. Or a massive kick in the gut, depending on the tactlessness of the reviewer. You know, though, as a writer who aims for publication, you have to expect that you're opening yourself up for criticism and when people plunk down their hard-earned cash, they have a right to totally blast your baby to the nether regions of space.

So why is it that an author can get a gajillion good reviews, feel pretty good about things, and then get a few bad ones and feel absolutely horrible? Why is the bad stuff so much more powerful, so much easier to believe? Maybe it's the Eeyore in me coming out. It's a good thing I married a Tigger.

Well, when it's all said and done, I have this sage advice for new writers who are facing the harsh barbs of non-fans. Shake it off, read the good reviews, eat a pint of Hagen Daas, (throw it back up, depending on your level of guilt), and then get back to work.

In the excellent words of Judith McNaught (or perhaps I'll just paraphrase since I can't find the actual quote), you can't please all of the people all of the time, and you definitely cannot please those who don't want to be pleased. Some people don't want to be pleased by my work, and it's really ok. That's the beauty of multiple authors, multiple readers, multiple genres.

But a word to those who review- take a page from Jennie Hansen, reviewer extraordinaire for Meridian. You can be honest and still be kind.

My skin thanks you.

A Newbie Again

What's a girl to do when she's been out of the game for four years? Bravely jump back in.

Back in 2004, I was feeling pretty good about myself as a writer. I had just finished the fourth book of my Faith of our Fathers Civil War series. Life was good, the painful research was done, and I was ready to move on to something else for a while.

I had a baby.

Mmm hmm. No big deal, really. My husband I had two girls already, and they were 12 and 9. I figured I'd done it before, I could do the baby thing one more time. And it really did feel right, but cute as he was, he refused to sleep. So my writing came to a screeching halt.

Then husband went back to school for a Masters in School Counseling.

Mmm hmm.

So with no new books out and royalties beginning to decline, I decided to fall back on that reliable degree and teach for a bit. I taught 4th grade and still didn't write. I knew if I ever wanted to be a writer again, I had to get back into the groove.

So now I teach preschool three mornings a week and write while my almost 4-year-old son...still doesn't sleep much. But now he plays well while I type away.

The best news of all is that my newest book will be released in October. Isabelle Webb, Legend of the Jewel has been a long time in coming and it is, so far, my favorite of my 9 published books. The setting is 1865 British Colonial India, and the main character was a character in my Civil War series, so readers of those four books will recognize her.

My website will be up and running soon- I'm putting the final touches on it now. To my readers who have been so incredibly patient, I say a million thanks and I hope you enjoy Isabelle Webb.

Cheers!

A Newbie Again

What's a girl to do when she's been out of the game for four years? Bravely jump back in.

Back in 2004, I was feeling pretty good about myself as a writer. I had just finished the fourth book of my Faith of our Fathers Civil War series. Life was good, the painful research was done, and I was ready to move on to something else for a while.

I had a baby.

Mmm hmm. No big deal, really. My husband I had two girls already, and they were 12 and 9. I figured I'd done it before, I could do the baby thing one more time. And it really did feel right, but cute as he was, he refused to sleep. So my writing came to a screeching halt.

Then husband went back to school for a Masters in School Counseling.

Mmm hmm.

So with no new books out and royalties beginning to decline, I decided to fall back on that reliable degree and teach for a bit. I taught 4th grade and still didn't write. I knew if I ever wanted to be a writer again, I had to get back into the groove.

So now I teach preschool three mornings a week and write while my almost 4-year-old son...still doesn't sleep much. But now he plays well while I type away.

The best news of all is that my newest book will be released in October. Isabelle Webb, Legend of the Jewel has been a long time in coming and it is, so far, my favorite of my 9 published books. The setting is 1865 British Colonial India, and the main character was a character in my Civil War series, so readers of those four books will recognize her.

My website will be up and running soon- I'm putting the final touches on it now. To my readers who have been so incredibly patient, I say a million thanks and I hope you enjoy Isabelle Webb.

Cheers!